just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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