I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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