did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
