Where did you get a picture of my penis
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
