I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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