Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
