I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
