I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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