dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
