Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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