just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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