32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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