Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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