I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
