bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
