I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
