She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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