then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
