yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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