College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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