please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize