need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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