I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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