What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize