I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize