I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize