I forgot how hot balto sounded
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
