wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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