Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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