Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize