Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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