its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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