Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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