Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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