guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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