I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
