That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
