You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
