what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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