but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
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I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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