You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
