how can u be prego again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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