these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
