The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
