Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This is my gift to your gina
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
