jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
