her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
