I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
