no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
