But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
