Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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