I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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