I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
