Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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