At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
bring money and cleavage
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
