I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
