how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
