did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
