I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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