Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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