I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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