i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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