when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
