hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
