butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
too bad you live with your parents still
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
